Thursday, October 27, 2011

do and undo

Today, my brother-in-law came over to help install our new-to-us dishwasher. We decided that with a fourth child on the way, having this time-saving convenience in place will likely lower the stress a notch. Keep our hands a little freer, quite literally. It's something we can do.

I watched my newborn niece and toddler nephew (and my own toddler -- Middlest and Eldest are away on an overnight with their aunt) so the work could get done. I love those kids. But, whoa. Bouncing a newborn while pushing two kids in swings (kids who were both crying about who got which swing) -- now that was a flash forward to my life in a few short months. Today didn't overwhelm me, no. It was the weight of my tomorrows that filled my head. When they left, I felt a little undone.

Lucky thing I had yoga class tonight. I emptied all those overwhelming thoughts into the earth as I folded forward. I wrung the anxiety out of my spine as I twisted one way and then the other. It was just what I needed to do to feel capable again.

And then I came home and watched a movie. Inception. Have you seen it? It will surly weave itself into the fabric of my dreams tonight. My legs still ache from holding tension for the entire duration of the film -- as a general rule, my muscles ball up against suspenseful movies. It pretty much undid the effects of my yoga practice.

But I know what to do. I'll just run the dishwasher. It's just the thing.