Tuesday, September 21, 2010

sent to you

yes, you're in my thoughts and prayers. always.

i say this, but what do i mean? i'm not on my knees.

it changes for me, prayer. sometimes i just breathe deeply and think of you, collecting energy from all my corners and sending it to where i think you are. but lately, i've been dedicating parts of my day to you.

i'm in the shower, soaking in the steam. i send you my silence.
i'm standing in between the laundry lines, inhaling the outside and hiding between the billowing sheets. I send you my stillness.
i'm holding my solid, squealing baby, feeling her weight and movement and vitality and life. I send you health.
i'm supporting her as she climbs the playset, all fearless and trusting. I send you the kind of confidence that lifts you higher.
i'm watching the girls dance and take each other down in the living room, crazy silly before dinner. I send you joy. The giddy, all-consuming kind.
i'm hunkering down in bed, day done at last, covers over my right ear, comfortable in the groove on my side of the bed. i send you my peace as sleep takes me there.

i hope you get it. all of it.
it's what i believe.