can't think but can feel

It's too much.
The world is too much. 
I can't. 

it IS too much. 
it's okay if you can't
                                 think about it. 
but can you sink into your body?
where
           do you feel?

*

Sadness

             is 

        in my throat.

*

Wait. Maybe it's further down.

Let me see. 

*

No, I feel it in my throat. 

It's a rock.

I've been swallowing around it.
Pushing it down. 

 

well,
you don't have to force it to come up, either. 

*

Hm, okay. That's true. 

could you acknowledge it, right where it is?
release the fear of it coming up,
because it might not actually come up,
                                  and it would also be okay if it did.

it's okay to feel sad.
it's normal to feel sad.

(even though what happened/keeps happening

is not okay. not normal)

*

Yes. I could. 

*
*
*

The sadness isn't a rock,
                                       actually.
It's a bulb,
                  I think.
A bulb planted low in my throat.

When I release my grip on it a tendril emerges.

*

It doesn't do anything to change

this
fucked
up
world. 

*

But

I'm showing it to you
anyway.